Writing : Reframe and polish my exsisting admission essay

Reframe and polish my exsisting admission essay, I've attached my essay below, please dig my shining point and reframe the structure, and polish it to make it outstanding.

Links below are the programs I applied for:

http://www.ntc.ntu.edu.sg/Programmes/GraduateProgrammes/Pages/MSc-TIP-English.aspx

https://blogs.ntu.edu.sg/msctip/course-curriculum-2/

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